Whoa that's crazy, dude!

When that exact sentence left Camila's mouth last week, I stared at her. Then I laughed. I have no idea where she picked it up, possibly at school (since her father insists it was not him).

She has been doing all kinds of crazy things lately, but they make me laugh. Last week I laid her down for her nap but a few minutes later heard her calling me. I went to go see what's wrong, only to be solemnly informed, "My toes aren't working."

I repeated it to be sure I heard correctly. "Uh-huh! Baba, you fix it?"

They looked okay to me. "Can you wiggle them?" She did. So she could move them. I inspected each individual toe, wiggling them and feeling for any abnormalities. I found one little spot on her big toe that looked like maybe an ant had bitten her. I pressed it lightly. "Does that hurt?"

She thought a minute. "Yes." I pressed it again. She said "Ow" but it was in a monotone. She was just stalling.

"There, I fixed it. Go ahead and go to sleep." She rolled over and snuggled with her cow, the problem apparently solved.

She has also discovered what is is to LOVE something. We're reading a book and mention chocolate cake: "Yum yum, I LOVE chocolate cake!" We're walking and we see some clouds: "CLOUDS! I LOVE clouds!" We're in the store and we walk by the balloons. "Oooh I LOVE balloons!"

Her imagination cracks me up. Monday on the way home from the grocery store, she was cradling her Clifford cup of juice and saying, "Aw, it's okay!"

"Is Clifford scared?"

She nodded, then tacked on an emphatic "YES."

"What's Clifford scared of?"

She sighed. "CATS."

I laughed. Where does she come up with this stuff? "Doesn't Clifford know he's a big red dog and the cats are probably afraid of him?"

She laughed too, and shook her head. "Silly Clifford!"

Such a mess, but so cute!

Emi will be 8 months on Monday and has not only figured out how to crawl on all fours (as opposed to her lunge/scoot method), but is trying to take steps! It seems so unfair that she be walking for her first Christmas, but I'm pretty sure it will be that way. We have to drop the crib down a few pegs today. I heard a noise when she was supposed to be taking a nap, so I tried to peek in the door. I came face to face with her, standing at the end of the bed and grinning ear to ear. I don't think I'm ready for this!

Swinging in the backyard with a friend last month.

One of our first cool mornings! We had a cardigan and tights!

Fall is here!

WE NEEDED JACKETS TODAY! Seriously, do you know how nice that was? By the afternoon it warmed up to high 70s, maybe 80, but this morning was windy and a little nippy! Maybe fall is coming after all.
October and I have a love/hate relationship. It seems like everything goes wrong in October, and traditionally it has not been a good month in my family. It often feels like the air is heavy and depression runs high. I hate October 31 and I know a lot of people will think I'm crazy, but I feel like a lot of the emotional issues are more due to spiritual oppression. It has been documented that there is increased demonic activity around that day.
Yet...I love October. I love the way the air finally cools, the fair comes to town, we are rapidly moving toward the holiday season. It was October when I quit the daycare and started being a nanny, so it now brings memories of going on my interviews on cool fall days with my windows open. I remember meeting Camila for the first time when she was 6 weeks old. I remember getting the call that I got the job. There are a lot of good memories in October too!
I have had a very busy couple of weeks, but not all bad. I got to go to the beach for a whole weekend with girlfriends a couple weeks ago, and apparently I have needed a tan all summer. So many people have commented on how flattering a little color is on me. This past week was WILD, a lot of hours, but we had fun! However, I am trying to find ways to get my own life a little more under control. Saturday I had agreed to babysit for a friend who had to cancel, so instead I got my car under control. I got the oil changed (it was only 2000 miles overdue), went to the car wash, vaccuumed it out. It was like a whole new car!
I still want to get my room cleaned and rearranged, and would like to have it done before my vacation at the end of the month. Can I do it? Maybe. I'm going to try. It would be reallllly nice to have a cozy little living space to come home to, even if I just fall into bed and go to sleep. It would lower my stress levels, that's for sure.
We shall see!

They Make Me Smile

We have made it through another week! This one was somewhat traumatic at times. The dog was on the brink of death for a couple days. This dog has been a part of the family since even before Mommy met Daddy; he was the first child. He is now the cantankerous fixture of the house that both girls ADORE. Everyone's heart broke to think of him going.

When they found out he had a bowel obstruction (second time this has happened, by the way), they opted to have surgery and while he is not home yet, he IS recovering nicely.

Monday was our first day trying the "big girl" gymnastics class. I am probably bragging but I was SO proud of how well Camila did. She is behind in skill level, obviously since she has only been taking it six weeks and in the baby class they don't do a lot of actual tumbling. The teacher had to remind her to sit down and wait her turn a couple times since she is used to more free play than "class", but she obeyed well and paid attention. She listened better than some of the children that were close to four! Since she liked it and the teacher voted to keep her in it, we are officially signed up for that class.

Mom's Day Out is going quite a bit better. She insists on wearing these hideous bright orange sunglasses that came in a pack of swimmy diapers forever ago. They SAY "Little Swimmers" on the bridge of the nose. But for two weeks now she has to find them before we leave and she wears them all the way into the classroom. She also takes Pluto along as a comfort object and now we are down to barely-there tears at drop off. (More than I would like, but I just have to deal with it.) She is bonding with her teachers more, which is helping, and I am also getting to know them better which helps my comfort level. They seem very hands-on and kind, and the older one assured me that she (unlike a LOT of daycare providers) would tell me if Camila was not adjusting and should maybe wait a little longer because she doesn't like to see the kids unhappy. But she said that Camila is opening up a lot and actually playing with the other kids and participating in music classes and not crying during the day. The last three times they said she has done very well.

Emi is still determined to learn to walk, but has not quite made it yet. I dreamed last night that she just got up off the floor and walked past me before I knew what was happening. There is a scary-real chance that it just might happen that way! She is talking more and more...there are a few times I was certain she said "yeah" and "hi" this week, as well as continuing her "Baba baba" practices. She babbles constantly and is in love with her sippy cup/the water inside the sippy cup.

I heard a song during Camila's gymnastics class (there was a radio playing softly in the background). I don't know anything really about the song or the artist, so I can't promote it, but a few phrases caught my ear. It sounded like more of a love song but was talking about "you make me smile", and all the crazy things the guy would do for this girl, but it reminded me more of children and how they make us smile and all the crazy things we do for them (dance like a fool, for instance). They really do. I'd do more for those girls than probably anyone else in the world. Even on the roughest of rough days, they do silly, funny, cute little things to make me smile.

And other times, they don't have to do anything. Yesterday after MDO I gave Camila a shower and dressed her in comfy clothes for nap then the three of us settled on the couch with a book. I read story after story and in between Camila would just snuggle in my lap. I'd ask her, "Ready to lay down?" She snuggled closer and would say, "No! One more?" Emi alternated between cuddling on the other side of me and playing happily on the floor. We read for over half an hour, the perfect quiet time. It was the very definition of contentment. (I did finally force myself to put them to bed but it was hard. I miss her SOOO much when she's gone all morning.)

I can't wait till I have my own kids that I don't have to send away for 8 hours a week at such a young age! I know I wouldn't be able to stand it. (Although I manage to keep Camila down closer to 6 hours a week by dropping her off a little later and picking her up a little early.)

Here are a few good pictures I got this week:

One of my favorite sister pictures yet. I just wish you could see a little more of Camila's face.

Camila is getting better at smiling on demand. It's a little "grimace-y" still but coming along.

A spontaneous hug from Camila. I think Emi was worried something was up!

Munchkin News

Okay, wow, we've had a big couple weeks!

Camila celebrated her 2nd birthday. She's so grown-up, even for 2. Today at gymnastics they did evaluations and we were recommended to move up to the 3 year old group. She takes instruction very well and can almost execute her flips by herself. She can swing over the foam pit by herself, "swing like a monkey" on the bars, and walk across the balance beam like it's nothing. She is the youngest recommended for advancement so I'm pretty proud of her. :)
The other day she went in her playhouse (that she got for her birthday) and I heard, "Where's the knife? Oh, there it is. KNIFE!" HAHA she had gotten a birthday cake 3D puzzle thing for her birthday with a cake server that she calls her knife. I think she's delighted to have a knife she is actually ALLOWED to have. But it was kind of scary!
Then I pretended to eat the whole "cake" and remembered she had gotten a doctor's kit for her birthday. "Dr. Camila, can you make my tummy feel better?"
Her compassionate reply? "No, watch Dr. Phil."
I have NEVER watched Dr. Phil or let her watch it and supposedly no one else has either. But I made that ONE passing joke, and she still remembers it over a month later. (I was turning on Mickey and when I turned the tv on, it was on a local channel and Dr. Phil was playing. "You wanna watch Dr. Phil?" It was a joke. But she said, "yeah!" and for 3 days begged to watch Dr. Phil, even though she has no clue what it is.)
Mom's Day Out is going somewhat better. She doesn't cry until I actually leave, and actually on Tuesday she didn't really cry, just whined a little bit. Her mom dropped her off Tuesday and said she cried some, but we sent Ricky (her stuffed chinchilla) and her teachers said it's the first day she actually seemed to enjoy it. (Which tells me she HASN'T been enjoying it this whole time, which is what I was TRYING to get through to certain parents who have been determined to make her go...but I'm not bitter.) Her parents have said the end of this month will be the final decision.

Emi has been growing like crazy as well. She now has two teeth and another coming in. She is scooting around the floor but is determined to walk. She managed to pull up twice now, but can't catch her balance to stand on her own. She will take steps holding fingers though...it will be soon!
She has also learned to shake her head "no" and most of the time means it! If I lay her down to change her diaper she shakes her head. If I get her ready for bed she shakes her head (and sometimes tries to throw a little fit). If you ask her any kind of question she grins and shakes her head no. So in that case, she doesn't know the difference between no and yes, but she knows it's an answer to a question.
She has also learned to say my "name", her first word! Yesterday she screamed it at me when she got mad ("BABA BABA!"), but then today, she's been saying it over and over to me, in a more conversational tone. Yesterday, whileI was talking to the cleaning lady, I looked over and her eyes were fixated on my mouth and she was moving her jaw up and down. It looked almost like she was mocking me! It was sooo funny but I'm also excited she's so interested in talking now.
My babies are so big. :( At gymnastics today, one of the moms finally asked if she was mine. I told her I was a nanny and she was floored. Then I told her I LIKED it and she about passed out. It sounds mean, but I honestly don't think she even likes her own little girl. She is definitely NOT the nanny type. (And not particularly the employer type either, although that little girl could use a nanny in her corner.)
They keep me busy, but I had a day off at the beginning of the week and came back totally refreshed. Overall, we've had a good week!

Tip #3: Commitment

This is more for anyone thinking of being a nanny than anyone who already is. Anyone who has the job now knows from experience: it's a HUGE commitment.
You are in charge of someone's child. You commit to teach good behavior both by actual teaching but also modeling it. For however many hours a week, you are basically a parent. And just like a parent, you will reap the consequences of any mistakes you make. (Only there are also two "other" parents that have to approve this parenting style!) You have to be consistent, patient, flexible, observant, and did I mention patient? Not having children of my own, I can't say if it's more frustrating to deal with other people's children or your own. But as far as I can see, there are pros and cons to both. You have total freedom with your own, and there maybe isn't as much at stake if you do mess up. But with other people's kids, you can give them back most times and if nothing else, look forward to quitting time! :)
You are also committing your time. It depends on what the parents do as to how big of a commitment is required. I work for two doctors. That means I don't have even one parent with a consistent schedule, so it can be VERY hard to make plans. In a lot of ways I got lucky that they had a second child. With the mom being off work for nine months (she took a leave of absence when she experienced problems), I was able to take two vacations and work slightly better hours (40-45). Now she is back at work. Life is awful for all of us, except maybe the kids. :)
Example: I am in day 10 of a 12-day stretch. They asked me at 6:40 Friday morning if I could go out of town with them for the weekend. I said yes; probably shouldn't have. I had casual plans with a friend and canceled, hurting her feelings, and I feel very bad about it. (When I learn how to balance commitments, I'll let you know.) But I went. So I was working alllllll weekend, till Sunday afternoon. It was nice just to get out of town, and we went to the beach. It rained most of the weekend, but we were in a condo and could look at the waves from the balcony.
But I didn't get even one tiny break to go take a walk on my own. Should I have asked for one? Probably. There is a different between total commitment and getting walked on. But going back to being positive, I didn't and I'm going to enjoy pretty much what I got. They did take us all to dinner. (A late, dressy one, and the girls did FANTASTIC! Go me!)
Then we came back and yesterday, I worked 7:15-6:40. It was a long day. But...they're doctors. They got stuck and there was no way around it. I almost didn't make visitation at church, but I ran straight there after work. I was close enough that I was only 10 minutes late, and had called to let them know. I didn't make it home till almost 9 pm because my mom needed me to stop at the store. It can be hard to run a life on the side.
So just a friendly warning...think about what you're about to do. Make sure you can handle what you're about to take on.

Personal Update

In case anyone is wondering about my life outside of work, I figured I'd give you a rundown.

I had a birthday (meaning I am now 21). It was low key for the most part, but a few friends threw me the most AWESOME surprise party EVER. (My only surprise party actually...they were trying last year but I ruined it.)

Lucky for them, I am working a lot. My average M-F week is topping 48 hours, so I have cut back on weekend work for my own sanity's sake.

I got several books for my birthday and have made time to read them, especially on those weekends I am taking off. Recently I read:

Maid to Match by Deeanne Gist--LOVED it! She's so detailed and accurate, but writes such an interesting story. I wish I could afford to go to her getaway at Biltmore, where the book is set and where you can see the actual furnishings.

Sweetwater Run and Still House Pond by Jan Watson--follow-ups to the first three Copper Brown books. For anyone that doesn't know, she was an Operation First Novel winner and her books are different from a lot of historical fiction, in a very good way.

This Fine Life by Eva Marie Everson--still working on it, so I'll have to get back to you. She was my mentor for the Journeyman course and I had promised her I would read it.

Overall I have been doing well emotionally and planned to write this yesterday, but never got a chance. Then I realized I was in a bad mood yesterday. The reason that came to mind was that this weekend, my parents wanted to marry me off to a visiting single man. Long story, but I ended up feeling pressured to like him and/or get him to like me, and rebelled and refused to talk to him at all (except for one "Good Morning"). So obviously nothing came of that one!

But I think the whole thing put me in a "down" mood. I have actually come to a place where I don't like being single, but I can live with it. It doesn't weigh on me like it used to. Then people push thoughts into my head and act like I should throw myself at single guys when they come along so I can be saved from my life of singledom and it ends up making me feel bad. I guess I almost feel like I let people down when I DON'T click with somebody, and it reminds me that I am still waiting.

But I don't want to be expecting it when it happens, not exactly. I want something natural, a friendship, an interest to develop. I don't want to lie in wait to ambush someone. Certain people (like my BROTHERS that want my room) don't seem to understand this. But like my job, it's something I'm just going to have to work hard at not letting myself be influenced easily. While I'm not really "happily single" I think I have managed to come to a place of being okay with where I'm at, of waiting more patiently than I once was at least. Now if everyone else could be just as okay with that...

Here are a couple pictures from my AMAZING party:

My very sweet friends

My new pet. I named him Ryan.

Six Months Now!

All the pictures the other day were of Camila, but Emiliana is now 6 months old and I have some GREAT pictures! More and more she loves for us to sing-song her name to her instead of simply "Emi". I wonder if she's going to insists on her full name as she gets older. Weird how early personalities come out!

For anyone wondering, the Moms Day Out saga continued today. Their mother couldn't take her, so I was stuck dropping Camila off, which really I had to do anyway because soon I will have to do it and she needs to know I'll come back. (We decided give it 4 tries and reconvene at that time.) It was SOOOO hard! As soon as I turned onto the street she started sniffling and tearing up and asking, "Baba, you come back?"

"Yes, baby, I will ALWAYS come back. You're just going to play for a little while."

We did that probably 10 times in the 2 minutes it took to get there. I turned off the car and turned around. Her face was PITIFUL. Her lip naturally pops out when she's upset (it was the CUTEST thing as a baby), and her eyes were shiny. She tried to be brave but started crying. I felt like a HORRIBLE person. I picked her up and gave her a hug and reminded her I would be back, but she was just going to play for a little while, it would be okay. She stopped crying but kept sniffling as we walked in. I got her to her classroom then she started crying again. I had to practice all my old daycare advice about giving "a quick, cheerful goodbye before they sense you're upset too", and made it out to the car.

I had told her mom I would check on her after an hour, but knew if I didn't leave the premises it would be every 10 minutes. I got a smoothie then returned to the parking lot to read and drink my smoothie.

Just as the hour was almost up, a buzzer started sounding and children and adults poured from the building. Fire drill--on the second day! I know it's necessary, but could we not give these poor kids a week to get used to things before traumatizing them??? On the bright side, the teachers did great telling the kids that this time, everything was okay but they were going to do it sometimes so if anything ever did happen, everyone would know what to do.

I heard all this loud and clear because when children started coming out I leaped into the back of my van and laid on the floor so if Camila came out she wouldn't see me. I was already in trouble if she saw the car but if she saw me it was over with. Thankfully her classroom is toward the back of the building so they used another exit and meeting area. I felt like a freak crouching on the floor of the van, though, with teachers walking back and forth. I was just waiting for someone to call the cops about the stalker in the parking lot.

Anyway, I gave her 10 minutes to calm down then peeked through her (door) window without letting her see me. She didn't look happy at all, but she wasn't crying. Just chewing her fingers and watching everybody. I wanted to take her home, but for the sake of sticking to our trial period, left her there.

When I picked her up, I could tell she had cried several times, but the teacher said she did better than she did the first day and is still using the potty like a big girl. Her teacher seems very nice and from what I can see is a good fit for her personality. She's approachable, but doesn't seem like she pushes herself on the kids before they're ready. Camila's first words was "Baba came back!" She repeated it all the way home. :( It breaks my heart that she has to reassure herself like that. So we'll see....

She LOVES mirrors!

I am SO proud of this picture. It's just adorable!

She is very proud of her ability to sit up by herself and is drawing her knees up under her so crawling will follow soon!