Christmas Eve

It's here, Christmas Eve! When I was a little girl, I LIVED for this day. Even in my teen years, Christmas was what I lived for, year-round.
I'm not trying to sound like I was a very spiritual person, but in all honesty, it wasn't about the gifts. I always basked in the overall joy Christmas brings with it. The hustle and bustle, the toy drives, the special, Christ-centered songs (though I enjoy plenty of the more "secular" carols as well!), the family-friendly Christmas movies, the rush on Christmas Eve, the family time, the magical peace on Christmas morning before anyone woke up...I loved it all!
I used to keep a diary of every day of the Christmas season and make a countdown calendar. It was the highlight of my year.
The last couple years have been somehow different. I think I've been too busy to truly just sit down and enjoy it. I've hardly watched any Christmas movies even. This year especially has been rough, with sickness added onto the hectic work schedule.
However, startig yesterday, I felt like I was finally getting it all back. I couldn't even sleep last night, I was so wound up. And I realized what brought it back: giving.
Our pastor has had an emphasis on having a "special" Christmas this year, encouraging the members to not focus on gifts, etc, but to focus on Christ, which is a good message in and of itself. But in his efforts to de-emphasize gifts, I truly feel he skipped over one of the most important aspects of Christmas, which IS giving. There are so many hurting people out there, many of which (for better or worse) DO associate Christmas with mere gifts and giving. We can reach so many people if we give just a little. It doesn't have to be toys or money or gifts even. If we just share ourselves, our love, maybe even our homes, it could make all the difference. As a little girl I always believed Christmas could be the key to restoring faith, even if I didn't think of it in those words. The last few years I think I've doubted that, that I became bogged down with work and life and cynicism.
But this year, I have decided to throw myself into showing God's love to one family in particular. My family has gotten onboard too, even my grandfather. We are mainly reaching out to the children, but hope to touch the adults too. My life verse is Jude 22: And of some have compassion, making a difference. To me that verse is a promise: your compassion makes a difference. It is also a warning: without compassion, you may not make a difference. In so many ways, this verse embodies the Christmas spirit we should have towards others.
I don't say this to brag, merely to encourage others to have faith. I truly believe one day we will find out we DID make a difference, but there have been times I wondered about it. But this Christmas I am choosing to believe that God can use what I do, not because I did it all in my own power, but because He has promised to do it!
Merry Christmas, everybody!

Communication

Communication is something I am not always good at. I do well as far as general communication about day-to-day things, but when it comes to my feelings, I am a very clammed-up person, except at the WRONG times.

We had a small problem this week that basically came down to major differences in communication. I won't go into detail, but her mom said something in an offensive way (even though she didn't mean it entirely the way it sounded, she did admit it may not have been the best way to say it), I reacted wrongly, and we were forced to deal with it. But we're cool now, and even in the middle of everything, there were no hard feelings.

That's the thing with this job: the good news is, you can become like a family. The bad news is, you become like a family. One thing that came up in our discussion is that it seems like we are ALWAYS together. Even when we are separated for most of the day, we remain in close contact and I am dealing with their life, so they are very much present. As such, we get comfortable with each other, take each other for granted, and get sick of the sight of each other's faces. We're all on the same schedule so we all get tired and snappy at the same time.

But, like a family, we work it out. This is a bit of a problem with me since I haven't communicated with my parents until things got out of hand. I tend to do the same thing here. I'm working on it. Otherwise, everything has been good this week. I threw a party for some friends last night, and my girls came (looking cute and completely well-behaved!). Emi walked a full 3 1/2 steps to me last night! I think by Christmas she'll be everywhere!

Emi, me, and Rachel at the party

Their very first viewing of "A Charlie Brown Christmas". Emi wanted to be just like Camila with her popcorn so she has a bowl of Puffs. :)

Best. Santa picture. EVER.