Personal Update

In case anyone is wondering about my life outside of work, I figured I'd give you a rundown.

I had a birthday (meaning I am now 21). It was low key for the most part, but a few friends threw me the most AWESOME surprise party EVER. (My only surprise party actually...they were trying last year but I ruined it.)

Lucky for them, I am working a lot. My average M-F week is topping 48 hours, so I have cut back on weekend work for my own sanity's sake.

I got several books for my birthday and have made time to read them, especially on those weekends I am taking off. Recently I read:

Maid to Match by Deeanne Gist--LOVED it! She's so detailed and accurate, but writes such an interesting story. I wish I could afford to go to her getaway at Biltmore, where the book is set and where you can see the actual furnishings.

Sweetwater Run and Still House Pond by Jan Watson--follow-ups to the first three Copper Brown books. For anyone that doesn't know, she was an Operation First Novel winner and her books are different from a lot of historical fiction, in a very good way.

This Fine Life by Eva Marie Everson--still working on it, so I'll have to get back to you. She was my mentor for the Journeyman course and I had promised her I would read it.

Overall I have been doing well emotionally and planned to write this yesterday, but never got a chance. Then I realized I was in a bad mood yesterday. The reason that came to mind was that this weekend, my parents wanted to marry me off to a visiting single man. Long story, but I ended up feeling pressured to like him and/or get him to like me, and rebelled and refused to talk to him at all (except for one "Good Morning"). So obviously nothing came of that one!

But I think the whole thing put me in a "down" mood. I have actually come to a place where I don't like being single, but I can live with it. It doesn't weigh on me like it used to. Then people push thoughts into my head and act like I should throw myself at single guys when they come along so I can be saved from my life of singledom and it ends up making me feel bad. I guess I almost feel like I let people down when I DON'T click with somebody, and it reminds me that I am still waiting.

But I don't want to be expecting it when it happens, not exactly. I want something natural, a friendship, an interest to develop. I don't want to lie in wait to ambush someone. Certain people (like my BROTHERS that want my room) don't seem to understand this. But like my job, it's something I'm just going to have to work hard at not letting myself be influenced easily. While I'm not really "happily single" I think I have managed to come to a place of being okay with where I'm at, of waiting more patiently than I once was at least. Now if everyone else could be just as okay with that...

Here are a couple pictures from my AMAZING party:

My very sweet friends

My new pet. I named him Ryan.

Six Months Now!

All the pictures the other day were of Camila, but Emiliana is now 6 months old and I have some GREAT pictures! More and more she loves for us to sing-song her name to her instead of simply "Emi". I wonder if she's going to insists on her full name as she gets older. Weird how early personalities come out!

For anyone wondering, the Moms Day Out saga continued today. Their mother couldn't take her, so I was stuck dropping Camila off, which really I had to do anyway because soon I will have to do it and she needs to know I'll come back. (We decided give it 4 tries and reconvene at that time.) It was SOOOO hard! As soon as I turned onto the street she started sniffling and tearing up and asking, "Baba, you come back?"

"Yes, baby, I will ALWAYS come back. You're just going to play for a little while."

We did that probably 10 times in the 2 minutes it took to get there. I turned off the car and turned around. Her face was PITIFUL. Her lip naturally pops out when she's upset (it was the CUTEST thing as a baby), and her eyes were shiny. She tried to be brave but started crying. I felt like a HORRIBLE person. I picked her up and gave her a hug and reminded her I would be back, but she was just going to play for a little while, it would be okay. She stopped crying but kept sniffling as we walked in. I got her to her classroom then she started crying again. I had to practice all my old daycare advice about giving "a quick, cheerful goodbye before they sense you're upset too", and made it out to the car.

I had told her mom I would check on her after an hour, but knew if I didn't leave the premises it would be every 10 minutes. I got a smoothie then returned to the parking lot to read and drink my smoothie.

Just as the hour was almost up, a buzzer started sounding and children and adults poured from the building. Fire drill--on the second day! I know it's necessary, but could we not give these poor kids a week to get used to things before traumatizing them??? On the bright side, the teachers did great telling the kids that this time, everything was okay but they were going to do it sometimes so if anything ever did happen, everyone would know what to do.

I heard all this loud and clear because when children started coming out I leaped into the back of my van and laid on the floor so if Camila came out she wouldn't see me. I was already in trouble if she saw the car but if she saw me it was over with. Thankfully her classroom is toward the back of the building so they used another exit and meeting area. I felt like a freak crouching on the floor of the van, though, with teachers walking back and forth. I was just waiting for someone to call the cops about the stalker in the parking lot.

Anyway, I gave her 10 minutes to calm down then peeked through her (door) window without letting her see me. She didn't look happy at all, but she wasn't crying. Just chewing her fingers and watching everybody. I wanted to take her home, but for the sake of sticking to our trial period, left her there.

When I picked her up, I could tell she had cried several times, but the teacher said she did better than she did the first day and is still using the potty like a big girl. Her teacher seems very nice and from what I can see is a good fit for her personality. She's approachable, but doesn't seem like she pushes herself on the kids before they're ready. Camila's first words was "Baba came back!" She repeated it all the way home. :( It breaks my heart that she has to reassure herself like that. So we'll see....

She LOVES mirrors!

I am SO proud of this picture. It's just adorable!

She is very proud of her ability to sit up by herself and is drawing her knees up under her so crawling will follow soon!

Growing Up

Obviously the past few weeks have been very busy, hence I have not had much time to write! I had WAY too much time this morning but was waiting so I could put up pictures.
Camila started her Mom's Day Out program this morning and I have been sick with dread. I really didn't feel like it was the right thing to do, and I still don't. But I worried she would panic (even though she HAS stayed in my church nursery a couple times with no issues), that she wouldn't use the potty, that the whole thing would be a traumatic experience. On the bright side, I figured they would pull her out and we could put the whole ordeal behind us till next year.

Well I forgot to factor in that for the most part, she truly is a well-adjusted, adaptable child with fairly advanced cognitive abilities. Her mother took her today and just stayed on the premises, so before she left her she stressed that "Mama is coming right back, you're just going to stay and play and have lunch."

She did cry. But she stopped. She played and listened and was nice to other kids. She even ate her lunch and used the potty not once, but MULTIPLE times. I am proud, yet disappointed. I really thought we weren't going to have to go through with this. Now I face 8 empty hours a week (I do have Emi, whom I love, but she is still an infant that takes naps often, and I just miss my girl!), not to mention all my aforementioned reasons about behaviors and sicknesses. Maybe today was a fluke...

I'm a bad nanny.

Anyway, here are some pictures from today and her new gymnastics class which she LOVES!

Dressed up and ready to go in our favorite color, purple!

We picked out a lunchbox Friday. In spite of having never seen Scooby Doo in her life, she chose him over Dora, Hello Kitty, a puppy, and an elephant!

I drew a lot of criticism from her mom for not being excited about it, but I think she was suprised when I got her a cake. I dug through all the cakes to find one with PURPLE on it, then had them write her name on it and put Toy Story rings on it since they had no Mickey Mouse.

Outside before gymnastics in her new leotard that she picked out herself. Told you she LOVES purple!

Power Pole or Princess Castle?

Camila is cracking me up every day now.

Today she begged to go to Petsmart again, so we packed up and went, having nothing better to do. She usually gets obsessed with one section of the store. Forever it was gerbils, then cats, then snakes, then we spent 10 minutes wandering the aisle of dog food...now it's kitty litter! Don't ask me why, but she will spend 5-10 minutes walking up and down and looking at the pictures on the bags and boxes of "kitty potties".

Then she asked to go to Booksamillion (which she can actually say now), which is just down the sidewalk, so we walked there. A boy of about 7 or 8 was standing on the sidewalk, waiting for his mom to get out of the car. Camila walked around him. "Scuse me, boy! Nice shoes!" A lady walked past us carrying a dog. "Aw, a dog! How sweet!" (Lately everything has been, "Aw, how sweet!")

Probably my favorite thing she has done lately is pat the big wooden pole outside (I guess it's a power pole) and say, "Princess castle!" I guess to her, it resembles the big round towers princesses are always getting themselves locked in. It's certainly a nicer way to look at it than "big ugly wooden pole".

Awesome Weekend

This is not particularly nanny-related but I think it does tie in a little. I'll explain later.

When I was a member of the Christian Writers Guild, I picked up a critique partner in Wisconsin. I honestly don't remember who started whose novel first, but I want to say she started mine then I started hers. We began to talk about things outside of writing and became friends. We exchanged emails and eventually phone numbers and have even mailed packages to each other. However, we never talked on the phone or video called on Skype. I think in a weird way, it was like it would ruin the magic.

Well this weekend, 2 1/2 years later, I actually got to meet her and her husband in person! They were down this way and came to see me. We were both a little nervous, I think, although I was bouncing-off-the-walls-excited. My summer has been soooo lame and this was the one thing I have looked forward to all season.

I don't know, maybe there was a SLIGHT initial awkwardness but it was barely there, and within minutes we were laughing and talking and I felt like I had known them for years. (Technically I have known her, but I had never met her husband, and we had never "hung out" in person.) We did some house museums, stopped for smoothies and looked at their vacation pictures, had dinner, went bowling, went to yet ANOTHER restaurant although after we got there we weren't that hungry, just hung out. Originally we were only going to see each other Saturday but they decided to come to church with me Sunday. I am SO glad because I would have been pretty much brokenhearted if I only got to see them that one day.

Church went well even though I wanted to deck somebody that made fun of Wisconsin accents when they hadn't even opened their mouth (and he sounded NOTHING like them!). They said they weren't offended, but I was embarassed that someone treated them like that. Anyway, we did lunch and an art museum and they had to leave. I got in my car and almost cried. I hadn't expected to feel like that considering she has ALWAYS lived far away and I KNEW she was only visiting, but we had SUCH a good time together. Two days later I am giggling at random times remembering some of our conversations and things we laughed about. (I would venture to say on our own we all have a good sense of humor and can be nutty, but altogether we were downright hilarious!) I have not had an entire weekend of fun pretty much since vacation.

I came into the week with such a clear head. In spite of being busy all weekend, I felt unbelievably rested and--I guess not mentally exhausted for a change. But I didn't work from the time I got off Friday night till I went to work on Monday morning and that is so rare. I even had a slower day on Sunday than I usually do in that I wasn't working with the bus kids. It was actually a FULL weekend of fun. So maybe there is a nanny lesson in that taking some time off can do you a WORLD of good if you get stressed.