I'm back!

I can't believe it has been such a long time since I've posted! We have been incredibly busy and grown SOOO much in these past few months!

Camila is now closer to 3 than 2 (her birthday is in September) and she knows most of her letters and some of the sounds that go with them. She can count almost to 20 perfectly (19 still trips her up somehow), and we're getting better at recognizing them. I'm hoping to teach her to write her name before she goes back to school. She's SO smart and soaks up just about everything you can teach her. The problem is she has figured out that once she learns to do something I stop doing it for her and occasionally she doesn't put much effort into things she doesn't care for.

But don't dare call her a baby! Even the other day, when I was carrying her and playfully singing "I'm Bringing Home a Baby Bumblebee", she corrected me, "No, a BIG GIRL bumblebee!"

She takes great care of Emi, often announcing, "I'm teaching Emi new words!"

For about twenty minutes one day they had an exchange that went like this:

Camila: What's your name, Emi?

Emi: Name?

Camila: No, you say EMI!

Emi: Emi!

Camila: What's your name, Emi?

Emi: Name?

Camila: NO!

She has become acquainted with the term "get married" but doesn't know exactly what it means. I told her I couldn't go to the beach with her one weekend because my grandpa was getting married and I had to go to his wedding. Soon after that, her mother was trying to explain it was their wedding anniversary, not anyone's birthday, so she showed her their wedding album. A couple days later she announced, "I want to get married too." She pointed to a large white real estate office we passed on the road. "I'm going to get married right there. And I like purple. I'm going to marry Jeff." (If you don't know, that is the Wiggle in the purple shirt.) "And I'm going to do it all by myself!"

"Awww but you're supposed to have your friends and family at a wedding!" I pointed out.

"Okay, you can come. And Emi and..."she proceeded to list probably 10 friends from school.

"That sounds good, but I think you're going to have to wait a while. You're a little young to get married, and besides, everybody's not married. I'm not married."

"Awwww I'm sorry! You can marry Anthony!" (The blue Wiggle, my favorite)

So the plan now is to go to Australia one day and marry Jeff and Anthony. She tells people this, it's HILARIOUS!

Emi is doing well. She turned 16 months old this month and is our accident-prone little girl. They thought she broke her arm once, but it was just nursemaid's elbow. She got some get-well balloons out of it though. She thinks she's a big girl like Camila and keeps up with bigger kids (which is usually how she gets hurt), but has no objections to being babied still. She loves to snuggle in your lap and give kisses.

She is talking a lot too, parroting everything she hears. Camila has taught her one color: PURPLE! Camila loves purple, so that is Emi's favorite too, for now. We're working on our other colors, but she is less interested in these boring things than Camila. She loves animals though, particularly cats. I'm not at all fond of cats, but there are some around the corner that behave themselves, so we visit them on walks.

She does her animal sounds, but my favorite is "Emi, what does the little pig say?"

She goes, "Wee wee wee!"

She also, for some reason, LOVES bugs, snakes, lizards, and frogs. She tried to catch a roach for me once (as I was trying to chase it with the Raid...we've never had roaches but the drought drove a couple in). She begs for the snake at the pet store. Her absolute favorite toy at Walgreens the other day was a rubber "life-like" frog. I don't know what it is, but I will never understand it!

Of course, her biggest accomplishment so far was that this morning, she pooped on the potty! She has been telling me during or after the fact, but this morning she came to me before. She's so tiny I have to hold her up even on Camila's child-sized seat, but she sat there a minute and did it! I was so happy that she caught on and became VERY proud of herself. She walked around the house clapping for herself for probably 5 minutes exclaiming, "Potty! Yay potty!"

So sadly, we are getting farther and farther away from being babies over here. Mom has vetoed a #3 for now, though the rest of us are in favor. (I think she probably has the best reason to say no, though.) A baby brother would be a great addition, or even another sister. However they plan to move in approximately a year, and it would probably be easier with a 2 and 3 yr old than with a 2 and 3 yr old plus an infant...especially since I have no plans to go along. I hate the thought of letting them go, but I just don't feel led to go with them right now. It's going to be a hard thing though!

Here are a couple pictures just to catch you up....

Eating her cookie for going potty; so proud of herself!

They had to get rid of their dog, so Camila desperately wants a pet. I recently took in two guinea pigs. They've been more high maintenance than I wanted, but Camila is really enjoying them.

One local pet store has animals of every kind and many of them so you can touch. Today they took a ferret out for someone and let me hold one for her to see. She likes them better in the cage, but she loves bunnies and guinea pigs. One week she decided one of the bunnies was hers and begged me every day to take her to see her "little bunny fella".

In Sickness and in Health

While it's not true with all positions, mine should have come with a clause similar to a marriage ceremony. We have had some amazing good times lately, playing in the backyard and the new sandbox, going to birthday parties, and even just getting back to taking long walks.
Then there is the sickness. Week before last, Emi was running, fell, and cut her forehead on the window sill. I have never had to call their mom to come home before, but it was just big enough it needed to be looked at, though not severe enough for the ER. Sure enough, they put a coat of glue on it mostly as a safeguard.
Then this week, Camila has been spiking super-high fevers (105.3). They took her to the doctor and got antibiotics Monday, but today it still spikes every time the Motrin wears off. She's off to the doctor now.
Emi and I are here at home. Emi has been a good little sister through the last few days, hamming it up to make Camila laugh. Today, however, she is teething and maybe a little jealous, so keeping up with the two of them has been exhausting. (And not good for the housework...)
On top of all that, I was in bed with a bad sinus infection all weekend and since it's still hanging on, I have given in and gotten antibiotics for it. Supposedly it is working on the infection but in the meantime it is making me very nauseous. This could be pretty much our worst week ever.
However, I tell you all that not just to update you, but to set the stage. I have joined a nanny forum where I am enjoying the chance to meet experienced nannies and ask them questions. One of them mentioned that being a nanny is one of the things that led her to reconsider marriage. She did mean from observing different parent relationships (particularly the husbands), not from caring for the children. But it set me off on my own tangent of thought.
Lately we've had several crazy days which you'd think would lead me to reconsider being a mother. EVER. But there's so many GOOD moments!
Like the other day when I said something funny and Camila giggled and said, "You crack me up!"
Or like the multiple times a day I pick Emi up and she wraps her arm around my neck.
Or like yesterday when Camila laid her head in my lap, tired and feverish, and declared softly, "You're my friend."
Or like when Emi grins so hard it wrinkles her nose.
Or like yesterday when Camila was feeling well enough for a short walk and told me she was scared of raccoons. "It's okay, raccoons can't get you," I told her.
She looked up at me. "Would you save me from a raccoon?"
"Yes, I would save you from a raccoon or a snake or a bee or a rat or anything else that dared to try to hurt my babies!"
She seemed confident, but it was confirmed when her mother came home. She wrapped one arm around my leg and leaned her head into her hip and announced, "Baba saves me from raccoons!"
Or like a few days ago when we were feeding some neighborhood cats a treat. I held one out to a cat, asking, "Do you want one?"
Emi said, "Sure!" and before I knew what happened, had popped it into her mouth!
All these little moments make the sick times seem worse in comparison, but they also make them easier to get through because we have more good times coming!
(However, prayers are appreciated!)

Happy Birthday, Emi!

So her birthday was last week, but I have just now gotten around to uploading pictures. :( She had a big day on her real birthday and a blast at her party Saturday.

Today she is sick with a very bad cold. She's so miserable, taking 3 naps for the first time in months. She's been snuggling with me all morning, and I think we've read "How Do Dinosaurs Say Goodnight" 10 times. (It's her new favorite book.)
Camila started the cold last week, but is fine this week! She enjoyed Emi's party almost as much as Emi did. She also has "How Do Dinosaurs Say Goodnight" memorized, so I can actually ask her to "read" the book to Emi! That is handy.

Some pictures:

The birthday girl with her gifts

Taking a cracker break

All dressed up for the party. Every time a new person arrived she'd announce, "It's cake time now!" She wanted some cake SOOOO bad!

I love this picture.

The little stinker herself. But you gotta love that face.

Double Trouble

It has been WAY too long since I posted! The girls have changed so much I don't even know where to start.
Though only eleven months old (how crazy is THAT?), Emi has officially crossed over into the Toddler Realm. She began walking two weeks before Christmas, and runs now! She is extremely opinionated, much more prone to fits than Camila was at that age, but Camila also never had a big sister there to consistently foil her plans. Overall, though, she is the HAPPIEST child you will ever see, and entertains herself easily. One of her favorite games right now involves a farm animal peek-a-boo book. The animals have their faces covered by a flap in the form of their "arms". She lifts the flaps, squealing, "Boo!" and giggles away until the next page.
Now that she has walking down, she is determined to master speech. So far she says "boo," "hi," "bye-bye," "go," "all done", "nigh'-nigh'," "up," "ball," "cat," "puppy," and I have a witness to vouch for me when I say the other day, she said "squishy". She tries to repeat other words but they aren't clear enough to really count. (Like when I try to get her to say "Up PLEASE", she will repeat the "p-p-p" sound but can't get the whole word out yet.) She also signs "more," "dog," and "eat". She blows me kisses when I leave. It's absolutely amazing how quickly she's growing.

Camila's growth is has slowed down physically, but mentally she continues to mature. For instance, last week I was teasing that I needed her blanket or something, and she firmly informed me, "It's not OURS. It's MINE." Quite an impressive grasp of grammar for a two year old!

She constantly cracks me up. A couple weeks ago I was struggling with a picture frame. She watched me trying to pry the tabs open with a screwdriver. Finally she said rather gravely, "I think you're too little."

We play pretend a lot. One of my favorite things to do is pretend I'm a baby and she's the mother. She never goes along with it, but always bursts into giggles when I go, "Waaa! Change my diapee!" She laughs and squeal, "You don't have a diapee!"

One thing has been bittersweet. She is realizing already that not all children have a nanny. She watches Olivia, a cartoon about a little pig's adventures at school and at home. Olivia's mother is constantly on the scene, fixing her lunch, driving her back and forth to school, going to the grocery store, putting her to bed, reading to her...most of which I do for her. Then Camila goes to "school" where she sees children crying for their mommies, not their nannies. We go to gymnastics, where every adult is "so-and-so's mommy".

When we're in the grocery store, every adult makes a comment referring to me being their mom. She finds it amusing, turning around in the cart with a grin and asking, "You're my mommy?!"

I act surprised and go, "I am?!"

She'll giggle and go, "No! You're Baba!"

But she has experimented here and there. When I was putting her down for nap one day, she hugged me tight and clipped out, "Goodnight, mom!"

I froze but kept my voice light. "What did you say?" When she repeated it, I squeezed her tight. "Goodnight....DAD!"

She giggled. "I'm not dad!"

"Well I'm not mom!"

She laughed and went to bed, and usually she only does it when she wants attention or sometimes in the store, as a joke. But she has gotten clingier to her mom (not necessarily a bad thing) and occasionally is less-than-happy when I come in to work because she knows it means her mom is leaving. It saddens me in that she used to be so happy to see me every morning and would ask for me all weekend, but it's good that she's recognizing who her mother is and has some loyalty to her. For now, Emi gets excited when I come in!

We have fun during the day anyway, and yesterday I was showered with hugs and kisses before I left. Here are a couple pictures just to update you:

Christmas Eve

It's here, Christmas Eve! When I was a little girl, I LIVED for this day. Even in my teen years, Christmas was what I lived for, year-round.
I'm not trying to sound like I was a very spiritual person, but in all honesty, it wasn't about the gifts. I always basked in the overall joy Christmas brings with it. The hustle and bustle, the toy drives, the special, Christ-centered songs (though I enjoy plenty of the more "secular" carols as well!), the family-friendly Christmas movies, the rush on Christmas Eve, the family time, the magical peace on Christmas morning before anyone woke up...I loved it all!
I used to keep a diary of every day of the Christmas season and make a countdown calendar. It was the highlight of my year.
The last couple years have been somehow different. I think I've been too busy to truly just sit down and enjoy it. I've hardly watched any Christmas movies even. This year especially has been rough, with sickness added onto the hectic work schedule.
However, startig yesterday, I felt like I was finally getting it all back. I couldn't even sleep last night, I was so wound up. And I realized what brought it back: giving.
Our pastor has had an emphasis on having a "special" Christmas this year, encouraging the members to not focus on gifts, etc, but to focus on Christ, which is a good message in and of itself. But in his efforts to de-emphasize gifts, I truly feel he skipped over one of the most important aspects of Christmas, which IS giving. There are so many hurting people out there, many of which (for better or worse) DO associate Christmas with mere gifts and giving. We can reach so many people if we give just a little. It doesn't have to be toys or money or gifts even. If we just share ourselves, our love, maybe even our homes, it could make all the difference. As a little girl I always believed Christmas could be the key to restoring faith, even if I didn't think of it in those words. The last few years I think I've doubted that, that I became bogged down with work and life and cynicism.
But this year, I have decided to throw myself into showing God's love to one family in particular. My family has gotten onboard too, even my grandfather. We are mainly reaching out to the children, but hope to touch the adults too. My life verse is Jude 22: And of some have compassion, making a difference. To me that verse is a promise: your compassion makes a difference. It is also a warning: without compassion, you may not make a difference. In so many ways, this verse embodies the Christmas spirit we should have towards others.
I don't say this to brag, merely to encourage others to have faith. I truly believe one day we will find out we DID make a difference, but there have been times I wondered about it. But this Christmas I am choosing to believe that God can use what I do, not because I did it all in my own power, but because He has promised to do it!
Merry Christmas, everybody!

Communication

Communication is something I am not always good at. I do well as far as general communication about day-to-day things, but when it comes to my feelings, I am a very clammed-up person, except at the WRONG times.

We had a small problem this week that basically came down to major differences in communication. I won't go into detail, but her mom said something in an offensive way (even though she didn't mean it entirely the way it sounded, she did admit it may not have been the best way to say it), I reacted wrongly, and we were forced to deal with it. But we're cool now, and even in the middle of everything, there were no hard feelings.

That's the thing with this job: the good news is, you can become like a family. The bad news is, you become like a family. One thing that came up in our discussion is that it seems like we are ALWAYS together. Even when we are separated for most of the day, we remain in close contact and I am dealing with their life, so they are very much present. As such, we get comfortable with each other, take each other for granted, and get sick of the sight of each other's faces. We're all on the same schedule so we all get tired and snappy at the same time.

But, like a family, we work it out. This is a bit of a problem with me since I haven't communicated with my parents until things got out of hand. I tend to do the same thing here. I'm working on it. Otherwise, everything has been good this week. I threw a party for some friends last night, and my girls came (looking cute and completely well-behaved!). Emi walked a full 3 1/2 steps to me last night! I think by Christmas she'll be everywhere!

Emi, me, and Rachel at the party

Their very first viewing of "A Charlie Brown Christmas". Emi wanted to be just like Camila with her popcorn so she has a bowl of Puffs. :)

Best. Santa picture. EVER.

Photos & Update

I don't have a lot of time today, but I know it's been a few weeks since I posted. We have all been busy as usual! We had great (separate) Thanksgivings, and are currently huddled in the house during a cold, rainy day. (It was 80 degrees this morning, down to 50 now, with lots of wind and rain.)

We are still doing well, everybody growing up. Emi is still not walking, but has the control to squat, pick something up, and stand back up! I doubt we'll make it to Christmas before she walks. Camila is becoming a very dramatic storyteller. She saw the beginning of the Disney movie Tarzan yesterday, and as soon as her mom came home, she ran up to tell her about the leopard trying to get the baby, but the gorilla saved him and took him to her family, but then the big gorilla was really loud and scared the baby, but the other gorilla sang to him and he was okay. Her mother, having never seen the movie, just stared at her until I explained it.

I took them to church again Sunday and they both made it through the service, awake this time! Emi made a little noise a couple times, but my church is very laidback in that way. There were 3 or 4 babies under a year in the service, although a couple had to be taken to the nursery. We sat in the very back and she didn't disturb anybody. Camila did AMAZING, looking at the books I had brought and coloring quietly with her crayons.

She finally is getting to where she remembers my parents in between seeing them, so she will talk to them more now, which they LOVE. These people can not wait for grandchildren; neither can my brothers. My 15-year-old brother informed me that he was disappointed: he wanted to be an uncle by 16. I'm NOT going to make the deadline!

Here are a few pictures:

Thanksgiving picture


All dressed up for church


This is the same picture...but I can't figure out how to delete it.


Emi ready for church

Memory Lane

Work is pretty much work this week. Two 11-hour days in a row, but I have to say it's not all that bad except for I come home too tired to do much in my own life. Me and the girls have a good time, though. The one thing that saddens me is that they may not ever remember these days. But I will.
This weekend started me on the subject of memories. Friday night my family received a last-minute invitation to a Harvest Fun Night at the home of some old friends.
When I say "old friends", I mean I was 15 months when we met them. Until we moved when I was 7 years old, we were practically family in many ways. They had 6 children as well (though we only had 4 when we moved), 5 boys and 1 girl. The girl is about 6 years older than me; I played with the boys. They have a large piece of land in the country and as small children we could roam and play in a safe environment. We went to church together, played together, and grew up together for a time. I even had one all picked out to marry when I was 6! (Although supposedly, according to our mothers, he and his brother fought over me. Too bad they never asked me!)
We moved when I was seven, and didn't come back until I was nearly 16. We didn't see each other for a few years after that. Over the passing of time, our families had grown apart. But in the last year or two, things have changed a bit. Our parents have reconnected in a lot of ways, and one of the sons and I have talked at church a few times. (Note: he's not the one I planned to marry; he's older than us, so wasn't interested at that point in time.)
I was so excited when my mom told me we were going. They have been doing Harvest Fun Night since before I was born. Some of my earliest memories consist of bobbing for apples, the hayride (always my favorite), and the bonfire. I even remember sitting in my carseat on the way home, sneaking a pack of Smarties from my goodie bag without my mom hearing me.
In so many ways, it was just the same that night. It was almost magical. It was the perfect fall night, complete with clear sky and twinkling stars. The moon wasn't full, but at just over half, it kept the night from ever being dark. The games were the same ones I remembered playing, the parents treated me as one of their own, just like they always have.
But the differences were astounding in their own way. I had seen them all at church one time months back, but seeing them there, where I remembered them as children, it hit me all over again. We've all grown up. Since none of them read this blog, I feel safe saying I had excellent taste as a child: my designated husband grew into a good looking man. I do have to say I didn't feel half as interested as I did back then. (His natural bossiness isn't a good mix with my personality.) But to see him driving the tractor for the hayride when I remember sitting on that trailer next to him at 3, 4, 5 years old...it was surreal.
His sister and I played together as children, but since she was so much older, she was more like a babysitter. Not so anymore; we chatted and laughed as friends, on an equal level. The baby of the family, only 2 when we left, also drove a tractor for the hayride. Their oldest brother doesn't even live here anymore, he is a missionary in Honduras with his wife and 2 children of his own.
In so many ways, it was a comforting thing. In the midst of all the craziness in the world, here are two families with a combined total of 12 children, together after 14 years of separation, and we are all okay. Have we had rough waters in life? Yes. But the parents have stayed committed to raising their children for God, even when the going gets tough. The children, aged 29 to 11, are all serving God in their lives, and no one has succumbed to drugs or alcohol, or even the simple lure of the world. And most amazingly, after 14 years, we can still all come together and love and support each other and share memories. It was almost like a miniature miracle.

Life Goes On

So we are all back from vacation this week, and we've all had some trouble getting back to real life. However, it has been an easier transition than it could have been. I was back at work on Monday but their parents were off all day Monday and their dad was off most of the day Tuesday (their mother only worked half a day) so my days were slightly shorter and the girls got to see them off and on throughout the day.
Camila wasn't happy about going back to "school" on Tuesday, but lucky for both of us, it's closed today for Veteran's Day. We went on a Petsmart/Booksamillion trip this morning.

It's almost scary how quickly they're growing up. Emi has 3 teeth and is desperately trying to cut 2 or 3 more at once. She can stand on her own for probably a good 30 seconds, but is suddenly hesitant to take steps. (She does NOT like to fall.) She tries to sing in the car and waves "hi" more than "goodbye". She even says "Hiiiiii" sometimes, always long and drawn out like that.

Camila's vocabulary continues to explode. She called me on vacation and told me in clear, full sentences all about her trip and what she was seeing and doing. She sounded like an older child, no longer the tiny baby-voice I heard on vacations past.

When we got back we talked about our trips. She told me she fed cows. "Cool." I decided to insert an educational moment. "Did you know milk comes from cows?"

She laughed. "No!" She thought I was joking with her!

"No, it really does, I'm serious."

She laughed and shook her head. "Silly Baba!"

Then we talked about my trip. "Baba, you saw your friend Emily?"

"Yes, I did."

"And your grandma?"

"Yep."

Our new obsession is names: "What's your grandma's name?"

"Oh, I just call her Grandma."

(Sigh) "No. What's your grandma's NAME?"

Too smart for her own good. I think I was 7 or 8 years old before I realized grandmas have names too.

Yesterday we made brownies. She took the box from me and studied the back. "Hmmm. We need one egg!" Sure enough, we needed one egg! She had "read" the picture with the instructions.

Later, I asked if she had to go to the bathroom. She said no. "Are you sure?"

Her annoyed expression said it all, but she added, "I'm positive."

I cracked up. She probably picked it up from her dad, but I had never heard her say it before.
Her mother has slowly loosened up and let my friends be a little more involved with her. (Mainly after she discovered some of them babysit and it may therefore be beneficial for the girls to be familiar with them.) So Rachel came over yesterday because she had a Toy Story poster for them to paint.

They had a BLAST. Camila was hamming it up all over the place, making faces and noises and giggling. They painted the poster, built a puzzle, ate brownies, and Rachel taught her "What does the elephant say? Roll Tide!" Camila has no idea why this is funny but likes the reaction it gets so she has been saying it for people. (I am not a football fan in the least, so I have no preference.)

So overall, we have had a good week so far!

The only time they're both smiling in a picture is when they're looking at each other. It's annoying, but sweet at the same time.

The girl LOVES chocolate!

Blessed with Friends

I am on vacation yet again! I know it seems like I just did that, but remember that I get very few days off in between. This time I am on a Wisconsin-Savannah-Atlanta trip, visiting friends and family.
My girls are all well, though I haven't heard much from them this week. Their mother gets poor reception at their grandparents' house. That's why I'm on vacation; I had a week off work anyway, and I do try to do my traveling when they do theirs.
So far it has turned out to be a good time of year for it, though. Wisconsin wasn't very cold at all, nowhere near the Arctic I was kind of expecting. :) Savannah, though overcast, greeted me with pleasant temperatures as well. At least it feels like fall!
One thing that has been on my mind lately has only been confirmed on this trip. I have some amazing friends! I complain because they all live in different places or don't go to my church, or whatever I feel like complaining about on that day, but I really shouldn't. I am blessed with a wide variety of friends, each playing a different role in my life. I have old friends, young friends, married friends, single friends, mommy friends, Christian friends, Jewish friends, northern friends, southern friends, friends that like to travel, friends that don't, friends that write, friends that don't...the list goes on and on. I have varying degrees of closeness with these friends, but I would count them friends nonetheless.
I'm not trying to brag or be like "look at me, I'm so popular!" But it has been pointed out to me that not everyone has these resources. And that's really what they are: I learn so much from these different people. Even the ones I know that aren't Christians make me think and stay on top of knowing what I believe. And if my parents only knew the stupid arguments a certain friend has talked me out of when I was throwing an attitude. I think God placed her in my life to save me from an early death! (Just kidding by the way...as much as they may want to, my parents would never kill me.)
Thanksgiving is coming up, so thanking God will soon be on everyone's minds. But I think I owe God several years of thanks for all His blessings of friends. And to all my friends, everywhere, THANK YOU! I shall try to be a better friend to many of you!

Whoa that's crazy, dude!

When that exact sentence left Camila's mouth last week, I stared at her. Then I laughed. I have no idea where she picked it up, possibly at school (since her father insists it was not him).

She has been doing all kinds of crazy things lately, but they make me laugh. Last week I laid her down for her nap but a few minutes later heard her calling me. I went to go see what's wrong, only to be solemnly informed, "My toes aren't working."

I repeated it to be sure I heard correctly. "Uh-huh! Baba, you fix it?"

They looked okay to me. "Can you wiggle them?" She did. So she could move them. I inspected each individual toe, wiggling them and feeling for any abnormalities. I found one little spot on her big toe that looked like maybe an ant had bitten her. I pressed it lightly. "Does that hurt?"

She thought a minute. "Yes." I pressed it again. She said "Ow" but it was in a monotone. She was just stalling.

"There, I fixed it. Go ahead and go to sleep." She rolled over and snuggled with her cow, the problem apparently solved.

She has also discovered what is is to LOVE something. We're reading a book and mention chocolate cake: "Yum yum, I LOVE chocolate cake!" We're walking and we see some clouds: "CLOUDS! I LOVE clouds!" We're in the store and we walk by the balloons. "Oooh I LOVE balloons!"

Her imagination cracks me up. Monday on the way home from the grocery store, she was cradling her Clifford cup of juice and saying, "Aw, it's okay!"

"Is Clifford scared?"

She nodded, then tacked on an emphatic "YES."

"What's Clifford scared of?"

She sighed. "CATS."

I laughed. Where does she come up with this stuff? "Doesn't Clifford know he's a big red dog and the cats are probably afraid of him?"

She laughed too, and shook her head. "Silly Clifford!"

Such a mess, but so cute!

Emi will be 8 months on Monday and has not only figured out how to crawl on all fours (as opposed to her lunge/scoot method), but is trying to take steps! It seems so unfair that she be walking for her first Christmas, but I'm pretty sure it will be that way. We have to drop the crib down a few pegs today. I heard a noise when she was supposed to be taking a nap, so I tried to peek in the door. I came face to face with her, standing at the end of the bed and grinning ear to ear. I don't think I'm ready for this!

Swinging in the backyard with a friend last month.

One of our first cool mornings! We had a cardigan and tights!

Fall is here!

WE NEEDED JACKETS TODAY! Seriously, do you know how nice that was? By the afternoon it warmed up to high 70s, maybe 80, but this morning was windy and a little nippy! Maybe fall is coming after all.
October and I have a love/hate relationship. It seems like everything goes wrong in October, and traditionally it has not been a good month in my family. It often feels like the air is heavy and depression runs high. I hate October 31 and I know a lot of people will think I'm crazy, but I feel like a lot of the emotional issues are more due to spiritual oppression. It has been documented that there is increased demonic activity around that day.
Yet...I love October. I love the way the air finally cools, the fair comes to town, we are rapidly moving toward the holiday season. It was October when I quit the daycare and started being a nanny, so it now brings memories of going on my interviews on cool fall days with my windows open. I remember meeting Camila for the first time when she was 6 weeks old. I remember getting the call that I got the job. There are a lot of good memories in October too!
I have had a very busy couple of weeks, but not all bad. I got to go to the beach for a whole weekend with girlfriends a couple weeks ago, and apparently I have needed a tan all summer. So many people have commented on how flattering a little color is on me. This past week was WILD, a lot of hours, but we had fun! However, I am trying to find ways to get my own life a little more under control. Saturday I had agreed to babysit for a friend who had to cancel, so instead I got my car under control. I got the oil changed (it was only 2000 miles overdue), went to the car wash, vaccuumed it out. It was like a whole new car!
I still want to get my room cleaned and rearranged, and would like to have it done before my vacation at the end of the month. Can I do it? Maybe. I'm going to try. It would be reallllly nice to have a cozy little living space to come home to, even if I just fall into bed and go to sleep. It would lower my stress levels, that's for sure.
We shall see!

They Make Me Smile

We have made it through another week! This one was somewhat traumatic at times. The dog was on the brink of death for a couple days. This dog has been a part of the family since even before Mommy met Daddy; he was the first child. He is now the cantankerous fixture of the house that both girls ADORE. Everyone's heart broke to think of him going.

When they found out he had a bowel obstruction (second time this has happened, by the way), they opted to have surgery and while he is not home yet, he IS recovering nicely.

Monday was our first day trying the "big girl" gymnastics class. I am probably bragging but I was SO proud of how well Camila did. She is behind in skill level, obviously since she has only been taking it six weeks and in the baby class they don't do a lot of actual tumbling. The teacher had to remind her to sit down and wait her turn a couple times since she is used to more free play than "class", but she obeyed well and paid attention. She listened better than some of the children that were close to four! Since she liked it and the teacher voted to keep her in it, we are officially signed up for that class.

Mom's Day Out is going quite a bit better. She insists on wearing these hideous bright orange sunglasses that came in a pack of swimmy diapers forever ago. They SAY "Little Swimmers" on the bridge of the nose. But for two weeks now she has to find them before we leave and she wears them all the way into the classroom. She also takes Pluto along as a comfort object and now we are down to barely-there tears at drop off. (More than I would like, but I just have to deal with it.) She is bonding with her teachers more, which is helping, and I am also getting to know them better which helps my comfort level. They seem very hands-on and kind, and the older one assured me that she (unlike a LOT of daycare providers) would tell me if Camila was not adjusting and should maybe wait a little longer because she doesn't like to see the kids unhappy. But she said that Camila is opening up a lot and actually playing with the other kids and participating in music classes and not crying during the day. The last three times they said she has done very well.

Emi is still determined to learn to walk, but has not quite made it yet. I dreamed last night that she just got up off the floor and walked past me before I knew what was happening. There is a scary-real chance that it just might happen that way! She is talking more and more...there are a few times I was certain she said "yeah" and "hi" this week, as well as continuing her "Baba baba" practices. She babbles constantly and is in love with her sippy cup/the water inside the sippy cup.

I heard a song during Camila's gymnastics class (there was a radio playing softly in the background). I don't know anything really about the song or the artist, so I can't promote it, but a few phrases caught my ear. It sounded like more of a love song but was talking about "you make me smile", and all the crazy things the guy would do for this girl, but it reminded me more of children and how they make us smile and all the crazy things we do for them (dance like a fool, for instance). They really do. I'd do more for those girls than probably anyone else in the world. Even on the roughest of rough days, they do silly, funny, cute little things to make me smile.

And other times, they don't have to do anything. Yesterday after MDO I gave Camila a shower and dressed her in comfy clothes for nap then the three of us settled on the couch with a book. I read story after story and in between Camila would just snuggle in my lap. I'd ask her, "Ready to lay down?" She snuggled closer and would say, "No! One more?" Emi alternated between cuddling on the other side of me and playing happily on the floor. We read for over half an hour, the perfect quiet time. It was the very definition of contentment. (I did finally force myself to put them to bed but it was hard. I miss her SOOO much when she's gone all morning.)

I can't wait till I have my own kids that I don't have to send away for 8 hours a week at such a young age! I know I wouldn't be able to stand it. (Although I manage to keep Camila down closer to 6 hours a week by dropping her off a little later and picking her up a little early.)

Here are a few good pictures I got this week:

One of my favorite sister pictures yet. I just wish you could see a little more of Camila's face.

Camila is getting better at smiling on demand. It's a little "grimace-y" still but coming along.

A spontaneous hug from Camila. I think Emi was worried something was up!

Munchkin News

Okay, wow, we've had a big couple weeks!

Camila celebrated her 2nd birthday. She's so grown-up, even for 2. Today at gymnastics they did evaluations and we were recommended to move up to the 3 year old group. She takes instruction very well and can almost execute her flips by herself. She can swing over the foam pit by herself, "swing like a monkey" on the bars, and walk across the balance beam like it's nothing. She is the youngest recommended for advancement so I'm pretty proud of her. :)
The other day she went in her playhouse (that she got for her birthday) and I heard, "Where's the knife? Oh, there it is. KNIFE!" HAHA she had gotten a birthday cake 3D puzzle thing for her birthday with a cake server that she calls her knife. I think she's delighted to have a knife she is actually ALLOWED to have. But it was kind of scary!
Then I pretended to eat the whole "cake" and remembered she had gotten a doctor's kit for her birthday. "Dr. Camila, can you make my tummy feel better?"
Her compassionate reply? "No, watch Dr. Phil."
I have NEVER watched Dr. Phil or let her watch it and supposedly no one else has either. But I made that ONE passing joke, and she still remembers it over a month later. (I was turning on Mickey and when I turned the tv on, it was on a local channel and Dr. Phil was playing. "You wanna watch Dr. Phil?" It was a joke. But she said, "yeah!" and for 3 days begged to watch Dr. Phil, even though she has no clue what it is.)
Mom's Day Out is going somewhat better. She doesn't cry until I actually leave, and actually on Tuesday she didn't really cry, just whined a little bit. Her mom dropped her off Tuesday and said she cried some, but we sent Ricky (her stuffed chinchilla) and her teachers said it's the first day she actually seemed to enjoy it. (Which tells me she HASN'T been enjoying it this whole time, which is what I was TRYING to get through to certain parents who have been determined to make her go...but I'm not bitter.) Her parents have said the end of this month will be the final decision.

Emi has been growing like crazy as well. She now has two teeth and another coming in. She is scooting around the floor but is determined to walk. She managed to pull up twice now, but can't catch her balance to stand on her own. She will take steps holding fingers though...it will be soon!
She has also learned to shake her head "no" and most of the time means it! If I lay her down to change her diaper she shakes her head. If I get her ready for bed she shakes her head (and sometimes tries to throw a little fit). If you ask her any kind of question she grins and shakes her head no. So in that case, she doesn't know the difference between no and yes, but she knows it's an answer to a question.
She has also learned to say my "name", her first word! Yesterday she screamed it at me when she got mad ("BABA BABA!"), but then today, she's been saying it over and over to me, in a more conversational tone. Yesterday, whileI was talking to the cleaning lady, I looked over and her eyes were fixated on my mouth and she was moving her jaw up and down. It looked almost like she was mocking me! It was sooo funny but I'm also excited she's so interested in talking now.
My babies are so big. :( At gymnastics today, one of the moms finally asked if she was mine. I told her I was a nanny and she was floored. Then I told her I LIKED it and she about passed out. It sounds mean, but I honestly don't think she even likes her own little girl. She is definitely NOT the nanny type. (And not particularly the employer type either, although that little girl could use a nanny in her corner.)
They keep me busy, but I had a day off at the beginning of the week and came back totally refreshed. Overall, we've had a good week!

Tip #3: Commitment

This is more for anyone thinking of being a nanny than anyone who already is. Anyone who has the job now knows from experience: it's a HUGE commitment.
You are in charge of someone's child. You commit to teach good behavior both by actual teaching but also modeling it. For however many hours a week, you are basically a parent. And just like a parent, you will reap the consequences of any mistakes you make. (Only there are also two "other" parents that have to approve this parenting style!) You have to be consistent, patient, flexible, observant, and did I mention patient? Not having children of my own, I can't say if it's more frustrating to deal with other people's children or your own. But as far as I can see, there are pros and cons to both. You have total freedom with your own, and there maybe isn't as much at stake if you do mess up. But with other people's kids, you can give them back most times and if nothing else, look forward to quitting time! :)
You are also committing your time. It depends on what the parents do as to how big of a commitment is required. I work for two doctors. That means I don't have even one parent with a consistent schedule, so it can be VERY hard to make plans. In a lot of ways I got lucky that they had a second child. With the mom being off work for nine months (she took a leave of absence when she experienced problems), I was able to take two vacations and work slightly better hours (40-45). Now she is back at work. Life is awful for all of us, except maybe the kids. :)
Example: I am in day 10 of a 12-day stretch. They asked me at 6:40 Friday morning if I could go out of town with them for the weekend. I said yes; probably shouldn't have. I had casual plans with a friend and canceled, hurting her feelings, and I feel very bad about it. (When I learn how to balance commitments, I'll let you know.) But I went. So I was working alllllll weekend, till Sunday afternoon. It was nice just to get out of town, and we went to the beach. It rained most of the weekend, but we were in a condo and could look at the waves from the balcony.
But I didn't get even one tiny break to go take a walk on my own. Should I have asked for one? Probably. There is a different between total commitment and getting walked on. But going back to being positive, I didn't and I'm going to enjoy pretty much what I got. They did take us all to dinner. (A late, dressy one, and the girls did FANTASTIC! Go me!)
Then we came back and yesterday, I worked 7:15-6:40. It was a long day. But...they're doctors. They got stuck and there was no way around it. I almost didn't make visitation at church, but I ran straight there after work. I was close enough that I was only 10 minutes late, and had called to let them know. I didn't make it home till almost 9 pm because my mom needed me to stop at the store. It can be hard to run a life on the side.
So just a friendly warning...think about what you're about to do. Make sure you can handle what you're about to take on.

Personal Update

In case anyone is wondering about my life outside of work, I figured I'd give you a rundown.

I had a birthday (meaning I am now 21). It was low key for the most part, but a few friends threw me the most AWESOME surprise party EVER. (My only surprise party actually...they were trying last year but I ruined it.)

Lucky for them, I am working a lot. My average M-F week is topping 48 hours, so I have cut back on weekend work for my own sanity's sake.

I got several books for my birthday and have made time to read them, especially on those weekends I am taking off. Recently I read:

Maid to Match by Deeanne Gist--LOVED it! She's so detailed and accurate, but writes such an interesting story. I wish I could afford to go to her getaway at Biltmore, where the book is set and where you can see the actual furnishings.

Sweetwater Run and Still House Pond by Jan Watson--follow-ups to the first three Copper Brown books. For anyone that doesn't know, she was an Operation First Novel winner and her books are different from a lot of historical fiction, in a very good way.

This Fine Life by Eva Marie Everson--still working on it, so I'll have to get back to you. She was my mentor for the Journeyman course and I had promised her I would read it.

Overall I have been doing well emotionally and planned to write this yesterday, but never got a chance. Then I realized I was in a bad mood yesterday. The reason that came to mind was that this weekend, my parents wanted to marry me off to a visiting single man. Long story, but I ended up feeling pressured to like him and/or get him to like me, and rebelled and refused to talk to him at all (except for one "Good Morning"). So obviously nothing came of that one!

But I think the whole thing put me in a "down" mood. I have actually come to a place where I don't like being single, but I can live with it. It doesn't weigh on me like it used to. Then people push thoughts into my head and act like I should throw myself at single guys when they come along so I can be saved from my life of singledom and it ends up making me feel bad. I guess I almost feel like I let people down when I DON'T click with somebody, and it reminds me that I am still waiting.

But I don't want to be expecting it when it happens, not exactly. I want something natural, a friendship, an interest to develop. I don't want to lie in wait to ambush someone. Certain people (like my BROTHERS that want my room) don't seem to understand this. But like my job, it's something I'm just going to have to work hard at not letting myself be influenced easily. While I'm not really "happily single" I think I have managed to come to a place of being okay with where I'm at, of waiting more patiently than I once was at least. Now if everyone else could be just as okay with that...

Here are a couple pictures from my AMAZING party:

My very sweet friends

My new pet. I named him Ryan.

Six Months Now!

All the pictures the other day were of Camila, but Emiliana is now 6 months old and I have some GREAT pictures! More and more she loves for us to sing-song her name to her instead of simply "Emi". I wonder if she's going to insists on her full name as she gets older. Weird how early personalities come out!

For anyone wondering, the Moms Day Out saga continued today. Their mother couldn't take her, so I was stuck dropping Camila off, which really I had to do anyway because soon I will have to do it and she needs to know I'll come back. (We decided give it 4 tries and reconvene at that time.) It was SOOOO hard! As soon as I turned onto the street she started sniffling and tearing up and asking, "Baba, you come back?"

"Yes, baby, I will ALWAYS come back. You're just going to play for a little while."

We did that probably 10 times in the 2 minutes it took to get there. I turned off the car and turned around. Her face was PITIFUL. Her lip naturally pops out when she's upset (it was the CUTEST thing as a baby), and her eyes were shiny. She tried to be brave but started crying. I felt like a HORRIBLE person. I picked her up and gave her a hug and reminded her I would be back, but she was just going to play for a little while, it would be okay. She stopped crying but kept sniffling as we walked in. I got her to her classroom then she started crying again. I had to practice all my old daycare advice about giving "a quick, cheerful goodbye before they sense you're upset too", and made it out to the car.

I had told her mom I would check on her after an hour, but knew if I didn't leave the premises it would be every 10 minutes. I got a smoothie then returned to the parking lot to read and drink my smoothie.

Just as the hour was almost up, a buzzer started sounding and children and adults poured from the building. Fire drill--on the second day! I know it's necessary, but could we not give these poor kids a week to get used to things before traumatizing them??? On the bright side, the teachers did great telling the kids that this time, everything was okay but they were going to do it sometimes so if anything ever did happen, everyone would know what to do.

I heard all this loud and clear because when children started coming out I leaped into the back of my van and laid on the floor so if Camila came out she wouldn't see me. I was already in trouble if she saw the car but if she saw me it was over with. Thankfully her classroom is toward the back of the building so they used another exit and meeting area. I felt like a freak crouching on the floor of the van, though, with teachers walking back and forth. I was just waiting for someone to call the cops about the stalker in the parking lot.

Anyway, I gave her 10 minutes to calm down then peeked through her (door) window without letting her see me. She didn't look happy at all, but she wasn't crying. Just chewing her fingers and watching everybody. I wanted to take her home, but for the sake of sticking to our trial period, left her there.

When I picked her up, I could tell she had cried several times, but the teacher said she did better than she did the first day and is still using the potty like a big girl. Her teacher seems very nice and from what I can see is a good fit for her personality. She's approachable, but doesn't seem like she pushes herself on the kids before they're ready. Camila's first words was "Baba came back!" She repeated it all the way home. :( It breaks my heart that she has to reassure herself like that. So we'll see....

She LOVES mirrors!

I am SO proud of this picture. It's just adorable!

She is very proud of her ability to sit up by herself and is drawing her knees up under her so crawling will follow soon!

Growing Up

Obviously the past few weeks have been very busy, hence I have not had much time to write! I had WAY too much time this morning but was waiting so I could put up pictures.
Camila started her Mom's Day Out program this morning and I have been sick with dread. I really didn't feel like it was the right thing to do, and I still don't. But I worried she would panic (even though she HAS stayed in my church nursery a couple times with no issues), that she wouldn't use the potty, that the whole thing would be a traumatic experience. On the bright side, I figured they would pull her out and we could put the whole ordeal behind us till next year.

Well I forgot to factor in that for the most part, she truly is a well-adjusted, adaptable child with fairly advanced cognitive abilities. Her mother took her today and just stayed on the premises, so before she left her she stressed that "Mama is coming right back, you're just going to stay and play and have lunch."

She did cry. But she stopped. She played and listened and was nice to other kids. She even ate her lunch and used the potty not once, but MULTIPLE times. I am proud, yet disappointed. I really thought we weren't going to have to go through with this. Now I face 8 empty hours a week (I do have Emi, whom I love, but she is still an infant that takes naps often, and I just miss my girl!), not to mention all my aforementioned reasons about behaviors and sicknesses. Maybe today was a fluke...

I'm a bad nanny.

Anyway, here are some pictures from today and her new gymnastics class which she LOVES!

Dressed up and ready to go in our favorite color, purple!

We picked out a lunchbox Friday. In spite of having never seen Scooby Doo in her life, she chose him over Dora, Hello Kitty, a puppy, and an elephant!

I drew a lot of criticism from her mom for not being excited about it, but I think she was suprised when I got her a cake. I dug through all the cakes to find one with PURPLE on it, then had them write her name on it and put Toy Story rings on it since they had no Mickey Mouse.

Outside before gymnastics in her new leotard that she picked out herself. Told you she LOVES purple!

Power Pole or Princess Castle?

Camila is cracking me up every day now.

Today she begged to go to Petsmart again, so we packed up and went, having nothing better to do. She usually gets obsessed with one section of the store. Forever it was gerbils, then cats, then snakes, then we spent 10 minutes wandering the aisle of dog food...now it's kitty litter! Don't ask me why, but she will spend 5-10 minutes walking up and down and looking at the pictures on the bags and boxes of "kitty potties".

Then she asked to go to Booksamillion (which she can actually say now), which is just down the sidewalk, so we walked there. A boy of about 7 or 8 was standing on the sidewalk, waiting for his mom to get out of the car. Camila walked around him. "Scuse me, boy! Nice shoes!" A lady walked past us carrying a dog. "Aw, a dog! How sweet!" (Lately everything has been, "Aw, how sweet!")

Probably my favorite thing she has done lately is pat the big wooden pole outside (I guess it's a power pole) and say, "Princess castle!" I guess to her, it resembles the big round towers princesses are always getting themselves locked in. It's certainly a nicer way to look at it than "big ugly wooden pole".

Awesome Weekend

This is not particularly nanny-related but I think it does tie in a little. I'll explain later.

When I was a member of the Christian Writers Guild, I picked up a critique partner in Wisconsin. I honestly don't remember who started whose novel first, but I want to say she started mine then I started hers. We began to talk about things outside of writing and became friends. We exchanged emails and eventually phone numbers and have even mailed packages to each other. However, we never talked on the phone or video called on Skype. I think in a weird way, it was like it would ruin the magic.

Well this weekend, 2 1/2 years later, I actually got to meet her and her husband in person! They were down this way and came to see me. We were both a little nervous, I think, although I was bouncing-off-the-walls-excited. My summer has been soooo lame and this was the one thing I have looked forward to all season.

I don't know, maybe there was a SLIGHT initial awkwardness but it was barely there, and within minutes we were laughing and talking and I felt like I had known them for years. (Technically I have known her, but I had never met her husband, and we had never "hung out" in person.) We did some house museums, stopped for smoothies and looked at their vacation pictures, had dinner, went bowling, went to yet ANOTHER restaurant although after we got there we weren't that hungry, just hung out. Originally we were only going to see each other Saturday but they decided to come to church with me Sunday. I am SO glad because I would have been pretty much brokenhearted if I only got to see them that one day.

Church went well even though I wanted to deck somebody that made fun of Wisconsin accents when they hadn't even opened their mouth (and he sounded NOTHING like them!). They said they weren't offended, but I was embarassed that someone treated them like that. Anyway, we did lunch and an art museum and they had to leave. I got in my car and almost cried. I hadn't expected to feel like that considering she has ALWAYS lived far away and I KNEW she was only visiting, but we had SUCH a good time together. Two days later I am giggling at random times remembering some of our conversations and things we laughed about. (I would venture to say on our own we all have a good sense of humor and can be nutty, but altogether we were downright hilarious!) I have not had an entire weekend of fun pretty much since vacation.

I came into the week with such a clear head. In spite of being busy all weekend, I felt unbelievably rested and--I guess not mentally exhausted for a change. But I didn't work from the time I got off Friday night till I went to work on Monday morning and that is so rare. I even had a slower day on Sunday than I usually do in that I wasn't working with the bus kids. It was actually a FULL weekend of fun. So maybe there is a nanny lesson in that taking some time off can do you a WORLD of good if you get stressed.